It's been awhile. I miss you more than anything in the world. You were my rock. My guardian angel. My best friend. My lover. My boyfriend. My happy ending. My everything. Even though you're gone, i can still feel you all around me. Every where i go,i can feel you. You're in my heart. You're in my mind. You're in the air i breathe. You're in every song i hear. You're in every boy i see. You're in my room. You're everywhere.
I miss your beautiful face. I miss your smile. I miss your eyes. I miss your hair. I miss the touch of your skin. I miss your lips. I miss your bowlegs. I miss the feeling i got every time we were together. I miss you soo much.
Ever since you've been gone, my worlds turned upside down. Nothing can ever go right. I'll be happy for so long, then something always happens... Something happens to remind me of you. The boys i date, well they aren't you. The boys i kiss, they aren't you. You're all i can think about. You're all i want. You are everything i ever wanted and needed. Although, you did some really bad things - you are all i want. I'd trade in everything i have to have you back in my life. I'd do anything to go back to how it use to be. When we were in love. When all we wanted to do was be with each other. When we wanted to lay on your couch and watch movies all summer. In the summer, how'd we'd always go to the pool. Remember the times we'd skip school? We always had fun. We were always happy. We both wanted the same things. We wanted to be with each other. You made all these plans for us. And in a blink of an eye, everything we once had - was gone. To this day it's hard for me to ever understand why you wanted to give it up.
I love you. I've loved you from the beginning. I love you now. And i'll always love you. I can't fight it anymore. I try to brush it off, and keep going on with my life but i can't just let go of you. I don't think we will ever be together, but i know i'm never going to get over you. It's impossible, it's been seven months and i still can't get over you. I know there's some sort of reason. Maybe you really were my first true love. You were a big part of my life, always have and always will be. I'm done trying to fight that. Its just the way it is. You will always be a part of me. You made me who i am today. You will always be in my heart, forever engraved.
Because i'm stubborn, i will never tell you any of this. I will never tell you that i miss you or that i want you back. No, i will never do that. I will never tell you about all the times i want to cry. I will never tell you how much it hurts. I will never tell you that it's you that i want. I will never tell you any of this because i don't want to be weak. I will continue to live my life and go on as normal, and never say a word to you. I will continue to date, kiss other boys, party, do what makes me happy, i will continue to live my life as if everything was fine, as if i never thought about you. You'll think i'm doing fine. You'll think i've moved on. You'll think i'm soo happy. You will think nothing but false information. Because, i will live my life as if i don't miss you, but in my heart, i miss you. You'll always be in the back of my mind, wanting you. But i'll never tell you.
Always and forever,
Your lover.
Your lover.
