Teenage Dream Gone Bad

I had everything going for me. I was living the teenage dream. It was perfect. Lazy days by the pool, nights filled with friends and drinks. I had the perfect guy.. well two. It couldn't have been better. It's like you sensed my life was better off without you, so you had to mess it up. It wasn't your normal way of messing up my life. You did something worse. You came and took everything I had. You were so cruel and heartless. You turned my perfect world into hell. You had your way with me, saw the pain in my eyes, and walked away. You acted like it was no big deal. My days and nights became lonely days spent in my room, crying the pain away. Wondering how a man could be so cruel? I pushed the guy i loved away. I dropped my friends like they were nothing. I was nothing. It was impossible to feel anything besides pain. My glamorous life was flushed down the toilet so fast. I waved good bye to the party girl inside me, and vowed to never let anyone get close to me ever again. They took you, and they locked you away. I should have felt relieved but all I could feel was pain. I cried and cried. After forty-one long sleepless nights, it was time to face you. They let you out. I didn't know how to act, I cried. I went to school and thought everything was going to be okay. Until you started haunting my dreams. There was no escaping you or what happened that summer night. I wanted more than anything to erase that night from my memory but I couldn't. I remembered what happened, like a line to my favorite song. It was eating me up. I tried everything to forget you. But when someone takes everything you have, it's so damn hard to forget. The people I thought were my friends, they left me. No one could deal with what happened. How could someone be cruel? I blamed myself. Why was I so nice? Why did I hang out with your sister? Why did I drink? Why did i have to walk her inside? Why couldn't I have just let her deal with her own problems? Why did you do that to me? WHY?! I had it all planned out, I knew if i ever saw you - I'd yell at you and hit you and ask why you did that. I'd throw things at you. Never did I think i'd ever really see you. But of course that day came, right when I least expected it. It happened so fast, it knocked the air right out of me. There was probably a hundred people around, but out of all of them, it was you that i spotted. It made me so sick. I had to keep walking because I didn't know what I'd do. I walked away. I drove home, crying. I cried so much I threw up. Over and over again. My world was spinning out of control. I no longer had control of anything. After I saw you, i started to feel so damn small and I felt like nothing. I was a nobody. I use to walk around with my head held up high, like i was something. And now, i keep my head down everywhere I walk. I can't stand the thought of ever running into you again. It has the potential of giving me a heart attack. You live your life like this is some joke. You go around doing whatever you feel like doing, with no care in the world. When you should be scared out of your mind. You should be living your life with caution. You should realize that your time is sacred, and some day it's going to come to a stop and you're going to get what you deserve. The truth is going to come out and you're going to get locked away. Everyone is going to know about the god aweful thing you did that summer night, that you tried so hard to hide. I hope it eats at you, like it does me. I hope you can't sleep at night. I hope it replays in your head before you fall asleep. I hope when you close your eyes you see my face as it was back in July. I hope when you're laying in bed trying to go to sleep, a million thoughts cross your mind and you lay awake until the crack of dawn. I hope when everything is going perfect and you are so happy, I hope you think of what happened, and just break down and cry. I hope you realize you are a piece of shit. I hope one day you look in the mirror and ask yourself "what have i become?" and I hope when you're looking in the mirror, I hope it makes you so damn sick. I hope your stomach turns upside down every time you think about me. I hope you think about the long lonely nights that await for you, in an empty cell. I hope more than anything in the world, that you realize you did something cruel and confess your sin. But i know no matter how much I hope, nothing will ever come true.. because you're a mean, heartless, cruel man. Go ahead, and put on a show for everyone and say God knows the truth- cause he does and he knows you're a damn liar. And you know what?! Go ahead and live a good life like nothing happened cause soon enough you'll be stuck in a four corner room with NOTHING in it besides a hard bed, a blanket. Go ahead, do whatever the fuck you want. DO IT. Cause when that day finally comes when the truth is finally out, and you're sent away... that's when I know it's going to eat you up inside. You'll be stuck in a room with nothing but your thoughts... and it's going to drive you crazy. I'll go on and live my life, and become stronger.. and hopefully get back to normal. I'll live the life I was always destined for... and you. Well, you'll have nothing. You'll live the hell i lived. And every day you're there, will be a slap across your face and remind you of the stupid, heartless thing you did to me. Maybe then you'll realize you can't always do what you want and get away with it. Not everyone is going to let you have your way with them. I almost let you get away with it, I didn't want to tell. I didn't want anyone to know how aweful of a person you were. No matter how messed up my head was, i didn't want anyone to know what you did but i knew i had too. Maybe, you'll realize after everything you ever did to me, the times you fooled me, the times you used me, the times you lied to me, the times you yelled at me, and the night you pushed me down and took everything from me, maybe once you're in your lonely cold, dark room, you'll realize you're a piece of shit and change. Maybe there's hope for you. Or maybe you'll always be a mean, heartless, cruel person and go nowhere in life...